3/24/2021 I found out and not for the first time what happens when women do say no to men, even gay menRead Now I feel sad and angry that the community I used to feel liberated in since coming out around a decade ago is now such a toxic and loaded word because people, many of whom are not even remotely same sex attracted, have dragged our only very recently good name through the mud undoing the work of our elders in the movement. I feel as a lesbian my name and image is being used to further an agenda that harms young lesbians more than anyone else which adds insult to serious injury. I do not consent to this theft of my identity as a lesbian or a woman. I do not consent to this rebrand of my culture and history and I do not consent to the erasure of my rights as a female. We will not stop until the truth is brought to light and those found to be abusing this community for personal gain face justice. What has saddened me personally in my real life is the gay men I know who sided against safeguarding of women and attacked me personally for saying no. I found out and not for the first time what happens when women do say no to men, even gay men. Smearing, abuse, a complete lack of compassion, and a disinclination to listen to women is what ensues. Disappointment yes but not surprise no. I’m glad to say I think our society is far less homophobic than it used to be but sadly I feel that sexism in many ways has gotten worse in my lifetime, it has simply become more covert. Literally dressed up as something else. But it’s just the same as it always was underneath. Pronouns are not an adequate disguise for misogyny.
3/24/2021 I forced myself to date trans women because I was made to feel like I was a bigot for not being attracted to them as a lesbianRead Now I forced myself to date trans women because I was made to feel like I was a bigot for not being attracted to them as a lesbian. It was incredibly traumatic and I was treated like utter crap. I hate that other lesbians are being put in the same situation and being traumatized in the process.
3/24/2021 My step-daughter is a lesbian and is sick of having to swipe past all the trans "women"Read Now My step-daughter is a lesbian and is sick of having to swipe past all the trans "women" before she can see profiles of actual women she might want to date.
The “community” doesn’t want me. Critical thinking is seen as a threat and I haven’t felt like I have a community in years.
I tried so hard to be attracted to males for 7 years, and all I got was this lousy PTSD!
The way that I was treated after my autism diagnosis (all my actual mental illnesses were ignored; the only thing my therapist cared about was forcing me to act as neurotypical as possible) primed me for being groomed by an autogynephilic male. I was taught to ignore my own needs and to do whatever I was told to do. Naturally, I was the perfect target for any predatory male who tells me I'm a TERF if I don't suck him off. Countless trans-identified males slid into my DMs, and I was always afraid to say 'no' to them. I felt like a bad person for only being genuinely attracted to other natal women. Even though I had to use drugs and/or alcohol to pretend that I wasn't completely repulsed by my partners' male bodies or the degrading sex acts that they forced me to do, I didn't see an issue with it until I finally went to sex therapy. Shortly after therapy started, lockdown made me quit self-harm sex cold turkey. Eventually I stopped trying to "unlearn my genital preference" (i.e. "pray the gay away" but with less Jesus this time!), but to this day I still feel guilty for being a lesbian. I feel so alone. I'm scared of my own body because so many males used and abused it. I'm haunted by nightmares to this day. I can't find any resources for recovering from the DIY at-home conversion therapy that was pushed onto me by the TQ+ community. Will I ever stop feeling like a pervert for loving other women? i crave community so badly. i know the lesbian community has never been perfect, but now we have nothing. and the worst part is that most of the people who caused this divide - who overwhelmingly are not homosexual - will be normal, straight-married people working a nine to five in a few years, and lesbians will be left to pick up the pieces of everything we've lost.
3/23/2021 it hurts that in "the community", male-on-female abuse and predation is often considered a private problem to be gossiped aboutRead Now it hurts that in "the community", male-on-female abuse and predation is often considered a private problem to be gossiped about; not something to acknowledge in the naked light of day. just knowing that someone noticed and cared, without any type of active support or intervention would have really helped. even just silently looking in some oblique way i could understand as really seeing would have been a lifeline. it is so painful to feel invisible and like you are drowning, only to realize in hindsight that everyone knew and talked about it, just not with you.
3/23/2021 I feel like I can't go into offline spaces as a GNC woman without qualifying myself with 20 hyper-specific labels firstRead Now I feel like I'm losing ground I probably never had. All the trans* stuff started happening when I was in high school, and now its so pervasive, I feel like I can't go into offline spaces as a GNC woman without qualifying myself with 20 hyper-specific labels first. There's no space to just be a masculine lesbian anymore.
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