The LGBTQ+ community is a fallacy if you're a lesbian. I am involved in running a lesbian group far away from this community and would not consider myself to be part of a community which sees fit to oppress lesbians and coerce us into sex with men.
They have outlawed lesbianism. We are back to the 50s with corrective rape (Cotton Ceiling), being told you haven't tried the right dick in different words, we have become a trophy for male conquest and fetishists. If you dare state who you truly are in the Alphabet Soup groups, you get called a bigot, a transphobe, etc. They stole everything from us, our right to talk about ourselves online, our safe spaces, lesbian groups and meetings, shut down MichFest, simply talking about a woman's body and its problems brings on pile-ons on social media. The queer hunt us for threesomes. Get the L Out. We have no future with them or they will erase us. They have already set our rights to exist back 70 years!
i am a bisexual woman who has always wanted a relationship with another woman but can never seem to get there. i've had long-term crushes and "situationships" that go nowhere, dates that go nowhere, etc. it is difficult to even find dates with women because the dating apps are all full of transbians, heterosexual couples looking for a threesome, and straight women looking for friends. there are no female spaces in the LGBT community to get to know people, and most same-sex attracted women my age identify as men or non-binary anyway. there is a stereotype about bisexual women that most of them are heterosexual posers who only have serious relationships with men. there is obviously a grain of truth to it, but i believe this trend is also partially because bisexual women are having dicks shoved in their face at every turn even when actively trying to seek out relationships with other women. i feel so lonely and i hate it.
6/16/2022 I wish I was born twenty years earlier so that I could have been part of a generation of lesbians that could actually meet and live their livesRead Now I am considering going back in the closet because there is no hope of ever actually being able to live as a lesbian. I’m exhausted by the shaming and the corrective coercion. I wish I was born twenty years earlier so that I could have been part of a generation of lesbians that could actually meet and live their lives but I’m trapped in this hell of “genital preferences” and “inclusive lesbianism” and there’s no way out. I’d rather be alone than be forced into adopting their demands. There has to be a way to stop this. I don’t have the answers but all I do is hope that normality will prevail and someone will help us.
I have been trying to figure out ways to drop hints in "queer" or "inclusive women's" spaces that I'd like to find or even establish a modest female-only hangout option. I have no idea what words to use which won't send up red flags. But which will maybe help me find the women who can give me the secret password.
My only two friends are a transman and a transwoman, both also disgusted by queer gender ideology. They sympathize and try to help me come up with words to use to "find" the women. We practice phrases. We brainstorm. There's always some way a queer activist might out me as a terf. In my former city, I was banned from the female-only community when the leader of the festival decided she didn't like me. I may never know what I did to offend her. I am detrans, and often worry that the effects of testosterone make me seem less trustworthy to other women. Maybe this is why she banned me. It was devastating. That community was all the hope I had left. Another woman I spoke to online tells me that this is becoming more common, that the few remaining female-only events are becoming paranoid under the threat of transactivist violence. To the point where actual women seeking female safe spaces are unable to find them or mistakenly filtered out. So I moved across the country and here I am trying to figure out how to carefully and discreetly hint that I would like to spend time with women. I have to tiptoe around homophobes and misogynists INSIDE the "lgbt" community. Fearing that if I screw up here too, I will have to move again. Since then I've told no one my story, or my desires, or my hopes. Only my two trans friends know that I am attracted to women only, and that I don't believe in gender theory, and that I long for women's community and solidarity and companionship. They sympathize, but of course they can't meet this need. 10/27/2021 I've spent a long time being told it's wrong and abnormal to be attracted solely to womenRead Now I've spent a long time being told it's wrong and abnormal to be attracted solely to women. I've never felt comfortable with the community because it just reminds me of that part of me I'd rather forget and bury deep. And now, with everything that's happened in the past few days...If there was some way to just burn that away and be attracted to men, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
I'm tired of trying to come to terms with being a lesbian. 10/27/2021 It is powerful social coercion to have all your peers treat you like you're evil and outcast you for something like thisRead Now At 14 (in early 2010s) I came out as a (straight) trans man. Over the next two years my group of friends formed and there were about 10-20 queer identified people in this group, most of which were trans or nonbinary. Pretty much everyone was bi or pansexual.
At a party when I was 17, a gay male friend hit on me. I was confused about why because I thought I didn't look male at all (I was very dysphoric about it) but I was deep in queer theory so took the validation of my identity. He kept pushing and trying to kiss me but I rejected him because I'm only interested in women. When I said this, he got sad and said he'd been questioning his identity and feeling very "femme", so that shouldn't be an issue. I said I'm still not interested and it got awkward so I moved somewhere else. Later on, another friend came up to me and said I upset him, questioned why I wasn't interested, and got it out of me that it was because he was born male (I even said I would if he transitioned!) For the next hour I was relentlessly questioned by the group, called transphobic (trans man at the time), and just generally insulted. All for not wanting to hook up with *one person*, who said for the first time that night that they were questioning their identity. I was terrified at the time and feel sick looking back on the event. This wasn't just emotional manipulation by one person, this was group bullying with the intention of coercing me into having sex with someone! They kept saying "you don't have to have sex with anyone, but your reasons for not are transphobic" (paraphrase), as well as "analyse your genital preferences" stuff, which at the time made me feel awful and trapped. It is powerful social coercion to have all your peers treat you like you're evil and outcast you for something like this, the "you don't have to" means NOTHING. I left the party early and lost in total about 20 friends from that event after it spread. After this was when I began questioning what I believed around gender identity and sexuality, especially where it was at odds with how my own sexuality worked. I searched online for similar experiences and found loads of lesbians talking about similar pressures. I posted about the event on tumblr and started getting called terf in anonymous messages pretty quickly. Ironically this led me to radical feminism and my eventual detransition (desistance?). One thing I want older LGBT people to understand: this is not fringe online stuff. This is the *mainstream* belief system in young queer circles. 10/26/2021 At least back in the day men who wore those I'm a lesbian too T shirts were rightfully ridiculedRead Now I'm not part of a lgbtq+ community. This is not the community I fought for in the 80's and I find myself increasingly isolated from those that claim this as their identity. Gender ideology has exposed just how little rainbow orgs think of lesbians and how homophobic and misogynistic organisations are for not questioning it and instead sign up to their hateful policies that deny our existence. At least back in the day men who wore those I'm a lesbian too T shirts were rightfully ridiculed instead of trumpeted as stunning and brave. I am very much of the opinion that it is long past time to Get the L Out.
10/2/2021 I went from hoping to one day find more women like me to fully believing that repressing everything and staying as deep in the closet as possible would have been ultimately easierRead Now I grew up hearing that being homosexual was disgusting. Wrong. It took until I was eighteen to accept myself and even longer to shake the feeling that I was a weird freak.
A decade later and I'm back to hearing that I'm disgusting and wrong, and wondering if maybe I really was a weird freak all along. Except this time I get the hopeless feeling of having a community to turn to and then having it ripped out from under me to appease horny men who can't stand to be told no. I went from hoping to one day find more women like me to fully believing that repressing everything and staying as deep in the closet as possible would have been ultimately easier. At least then I wouldn't have had to see these parts of myself that it took so many years to embrace become vilified one-by-one. |
Details
Archives
May 2023
Categories |