4/3/2021 y’all hate lesbians until you want to try and be us and take our words and our historyRead Now “Community” makes me laugh like y’all hate lesbians until you want to try and be us and take our words and our history. I’m so tired. Where is the community?
4/3/2021 I came out expecting to find community and instead I have been rejected and confused about where my community and peers truly areRead Now I came out expecting to find community and instead I have been rejected and confused about where my community and peers truly are.
4/2/2021 the thought of having that conversation with any of my queer friends made me sick to my stomachRead Now Earlier this year I was questioning my sexuality - I had long thought of myself as bi, but only really dated men because it was easier and I wanted kids.
But after getting out of an abusive relationship, I was wondering if I might be a lesbian. I knew I didn't want to be with a man again, but I wasn't sure if it was "just" trauma or something deeper. I was obviously confused and hurting and I wanted to talk through it with a friend, and it just hit me that the thought of having that conversation with any of my queer friends made me sick to my stomach. How could I possibly work through my conflicted feelings and thoughts about sex and bodies and attraction and trauma and boundaries and identity without inadvertantly saying something that would get labelled as transphobic? I wasn't even particularly thinking about trans people, I just knew that all that stuff was a minefield. And the thought of trying to tiptoe through it was so exhausting. Ironically, I ended up talking to one of my conservative relatives instead. You wouldn't think of this person as being gay positive, like at all, but they cared more about me than about ideological differences. They were willing to listen without judging me, and that was what I really needed. If a "community" isn't giving its members that, I don't even know what it's for any more. 4/2/2021 No, we couldn't say female instead, because it's a transphobic dogwhistle and also hurtful to intersex peopleRead Now I was talking with a couple (female) friends about an article on how doctors didn't map the clitoris until very recently. A male nonbinary person came up and started "correcting" us.
Studying the clitoris wasn't a women's health issue because not all women have clitorises. No, we couldn't say female instead, because it's a transphobic dogwhistle and also hurtful to intersex people. Did we know that the clitoris and the penis actually form from the same structure in utero? And anyway if we're talking about women's health, let's talk about facial feminization surgery for trans women. And on, and on, and on, and fucking on. We eventually gave up on talking about our own boring bodies and just listened to this 100% male person - who earns twice what any of us does, despite all being in the same field and around the same age - educate us about women's issues. A heterosexual male spoke at my university. Calling himself a lesbian and speaking on “lesbian history.” Positing me (a second wave “cis”lesbian) as his oppressor. And I could not speak out because I would be condemned by everyone I work with there for being transphobic. My reputation in my work would be ruined. He stole my identity and I was helpless to confront that. Heterosexual males are not women and they will never be lesbians.
4/1/2021 It is an act of social defiance to simply be openly and exclusively attracted to other females.Read Now There are female (not a dirty word) people who are sexually and romantically interested in exclusively other female people. The word “lesbian” has been used to describe this type of person for hundreds of years but now the expectation is that we either start sucking dick and kissing on necks with five-o-clock shadow and and accepting a gravelly fakey cartoon “womanly voice” moaning in our ears or we resolve our lives to social ostracization and being called worse bigots than nazis. Simply for wanting exclusively to love and fuck and embrace and date and marry natal women.
“Trans lesbian” is an oxymoron. Lesbianism is for those of us that were fortunate enough to be born with vaginas, unfortunate enough to face the unique backlash and intense social training-into-submission that little girls exclusively receive, and resilient enough to not crumble under the pressure to be sexually subservient to males. No lesbian will ever want to romantically or sexually interface with a trans woman. This is the objective truth. I feel awful for all of the young gay girls being told that they must ignore all of the unattractive, mannish features that transwomen possess and accept them into their social tribe. Transwomen are doing something that all males do: depending on females for validation and support and submission. It is an act of social defiance to simply be openly and exclusively attracted to other females. Once again, the only place that females set aside from males to be themselves, eventually is eroded away to include males. I resent each and every “trans lesbian.” They know nothing about what it is to be a lesbian and never, ever will. Even if they date each other exclusively. Transwomen made their bed and now need to lie in it. Only people who are attracted to males are attracted to trans women and that’s that. Believe it or not, there are females who don’t want anything to do with males—this should not be shameful, or controversial. I am sick of feeling like I am not a proper lesbian for being homosexual. The new definition of “lesbian” means “bisexual.” This is erasure of a sexual orientation. This is erasure of culture. This is males forcing themselves into female spaces. |
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