What “community”? Even when it was LGB, it was all about the gay men and AIDS. Now men and their fetishes are seeking to erase sex altogether and thereby gays and lesbians. And all this is advertising to get us to hate our bodies and get drugs or surgery or AI.
Female person? Exactly what’s wrong. I’m a lesbian. A woman. An adult human female. You cannot have the word woman, it’s taken. I spent years running from being a butch lesbian. I transitioned in order to escape the shame & fear I had. When I finally came to terms with the fact that transition had not really helped & I was still the same me I detransitioned.
I embraced myself as a butch lesbian & I wanted more then anything to go be with other lesbians. I wanted community more then anything. But there isn’t a place for me anymore. Before I transitioned there were several lesbian groups in my area. They aren’t here anymore. As far as I can tell there is no lesbian space or group anywhere in my area. Even online the spaces are mostly overrun with men claiming to be lesbians. Imagine my surprise when an Instagram I followed dedicated to butch lesbian representation showed a bunch of “butch trans women “. It felt like a slap in the face. I can not express how painful it is to not have a place to belong. I have spoken, and I have lost. I have no local community. After years of giving, a lesbian resume a mile long, I took a break. I came back to a community I no longer recognized. I felt like a stranger in my own home, at least what used to be my home. I didn't even try to hide. I spoke proudly of being a gender critical feminist and was told to be kind. Why? Why should I be kind when my spaces are gone, when lesbians are being erased? One person had the nerve to tell me that I didn't participate in the community enough to be able to have an opinion. I was co-director of Pride for two years, and that is but one of my contributions. Now this person tells me I have not contributed enough to have an opinion. I retreat to online spaces where I am welcome. I do, however, have a public presence that hopefully will provide young lesbians with role models as they try to find their own paths.
6/8/2021 I'm grappling with discovering my same-sex attraction and all those I know who say they're lesbians are trans women and I'm terrified to talk to themRead Now I feel alone. I'm grappling with discovering my same-sex attraction and all those I know who say they're lesbians are trans women and I'm terrified to talk to them.
On the other hand, I know the pressure that lesbians face right now and don't want to be invading lesbian spaces when I don't know if I'm bi or lesbian or just confused. I know why it's a bad time to be questioning. I just wish it was an easier position to be in. 6/8/2021 trans activism is... destroying female boundaries to please predominantly straight men with fetishesRead Now I am bisexual so not as bad as for lesbians but I want so much to connect with other women attracted to women and I can't. There are no LGBT spaces just for female people, no dating sites, no bars. It's so distressing, trans activism is a cancer that is destroying female boundaries to please predominantly straight men with fetishes.
6/8/2021 I feel forced to lie again, about an obvious truth, or lose the friends I love and the community I spent years findingRead Now As a child I was sexually abused by an adult for many years. He told me to lie to everyone around me, to keep 'our' secret, that I'd be blamed if I told the truth. I believed him, and I struggled for years to recover from that. Not only the abuse, but the lying.
Now, as an adult in a very progressive city, I am being aggressively told by an obviously male, straight man in my circle to refer to him as not only female, but a lesbian. My friends support him, even those who privately acknowledge it's absurd, and expect me to do the same. I feel forced to lie again, about an obvious truth, or lose the friends I love and the community I spent years finding. It feels dangerous to speak, though I'm ashamed of my cowardice. The cognitive dissonance is painful, and it has damaged my relationships. I feel like I'm right back to that childhood trauma: lie, or lose everything. Be complicit in your own abuse. How is that ok? I don't understand how we got here. 6/8/2021 Pride has turned into... a self-congratulatory advertising sideshow for corporate sponsorsRead Now Pride has turned into...
1. a self-congratulatory advertising sideshow for corporate sponsors and 2. a place for straight people who call themselves "queer" to hang out. I hate it. I couldn't admit being bisexual to myself and afraid to come out to anyone later because of my homophobic religious mother.
Years later with that behind me, I fear advocating for myself as a woman because I have been labeled a TERF for doing so. I've lost friends and received rape/death threats. I'm scared of the homophobia directed at my lesbian/gay brothers and sisters for being exclusively same-sex attracted. 6/8/2021 i have to tread lightly so as not to lose some of my oldest and dearest friends and be labeled a bigotRead Now i'm so scared to talk about female issues now. i have to tread lightly so as not to lose some of my oldest and dearest friends and be labeled a bigot. if everyone they don't like is a terf, and it's normal to want to kill terfs, how are women going to defend ourselves?
i'm so happy to be in a serious relationship. i know if i wasn't, as a bi woman, i would be expected to give people i have no interest in a chance. seeing the state of lesbian online dating makes me so sad for these women.
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