I'm a late bloomer lesbian. I'm generally rather bad at processing and recognising my emotions, and I simply assumed all teenage girls felt the same things I did towards their friends. It was probably not helped by my mother being somewhat homophobic (of course gays should be allowed to marry, but why do they have to be so in-our-faces about it?). When I should have realised, in university, when I was well past puberty and those feelings mom told me I would have towards men still hadn't appeared, and my attempts to go on dates with men ended in me being utterly repulsed any time they tried to touch me, and I developed a very intense pseudo-relationship with my bisexual best friend/housemate, I instead stumbled on the asexual community. This was when the internet had just started telling lesbians that they must be into dick. The combination (asexual info and trans propaganda) drove me straight to an asexual identity. It felt safe. I didn't have to face my internalised homophobia or do any of the soul-searching acknowledging my own emotions things that I find so challenging. No one would ask me any difficult question about how I felt about girldick. I'm nearly thirty. I've never so much as kissed a woman. Large part of this is probably my own emotional issues from childhood, but I hate hate hate the way the trans and asexual communities make it so much harder to acknowledge our sexualities.
Comments are closed.
|
Details
Archives
May 2023
Categories |