The “trans activists” are harming trans people personally and politically. The movement has been taken over by people who literally speak over dysphoric people and trans people and speaking over women and gay men and lesbians. Some of these “leaders” speaking over others are actual abusers. It’s sick and it’s harming trans people and everyone involved in social justice.
7/27/2022 sex dysphoria is not exclusive to trans people, nor does it mean that somebody should necessarily transitionRead Now I wish that I could say that sex dysphoria is not exclusive to trans people, nor does it mean that somebody should necessarily transition. There are many of us that you so incorrectly label “cis” who simply do not define ourselves by some gender identity, And we deserve to be respected just as much as you’re demanding that we respect you. Don’t call me genderqueer, don’t call me agender or whatever. I’m female. I have sex dysphoria. Having sex dysphoria does not change my material reality, and I’m not trying to make it to change my material reality. I am not “cis.” I am not any flavor of transgender. I have no relationship with gender beyond the forcible gendered socialization that I suffered and continue to suffer. Stop trying to make me submit to your version of reality which does not describe nor relate to mine. I am allowed to be honest about my own experiences, and I don’t have to fit into your little trans/cis binary.
I am tired of having to pretend that I share the same existence and identity as people who are literally redefining my own language to exclude me. I do not have to give up the words that I use to describe my experience because somebody else thinks that they should be able to re-define the words that I can use to talk about my own self and my own material reality so that they no longer apply to me. It’s literally ripping the words that I used to talk about my experience with a specific definition relevant to my experience and saying that I no longer am allowed to use them in the way that I do to describe my experience, but that now my words are gone and belong to someone else who has re-defined it to exclude me and include themselves. They all said that they were this was about inclusion, and I support inclusion, but now you are excluding me, and that is not OK.
I am a woman, and I am a woman only because I am biologically female. There is no other reason that I am a woman, and when you take away my ability to use the word woman to mean biologically female, you have stolen my name. I can no longer use the word woman to describe myself, without other people in the lgbt+ community assuming it means that I have a female brain (nonsense) or that I consent to the social position of women or that I “identify as a woman.” When I talk about having dysphoria and being a female and not transitioning, and being a proud woman who only calls herself a woman because she is female and shares the lived experience of other females, I am told that I am wrong about my own identity, but of course they would never tolerate me saying this to them. Where did my language go to describe my own material reality? How come I suddenly can’t define myself by my own actual lived experiences? I heard about a new "queer" and "LGBTQI+" club night here in London focused on house & disco and got excited, because I'm always looking for fun inclusive spaces for my gf and I to go out and dance.
But when I looked at the Instagram page it was 100% pictures of shirtless men, drag queens, and skimpily clad trans women. So it's basically a GAY MEN'S night. Even the flyers only featured pics of men. So much for the ever-expanding "inclusive" rainbow alphabet. 7/5/2022 the pressure to be 'not like other girls' alongside knowing I was a lesbian and that trans people existed was enough to tip me overRead Now Growing up, I was a victim of internalised misogyny. Everywhere I looked, girls and women who were feminine were being derided and made fun of. Of course that made my young self want to distance myself from femininity, want to claim that I was 'one of the boys.' I spent ages doing this, and at the peak of this phase discovered the brainwashing minefield of lgbt+ instagram. Suddenly I was convinced that I wasn't a girl after all, but trans. Demi-boy, transmasculine, you name it. I was attracted to women too, and the pressure to be 'not like other girls' alongside knowing I was a lesbian and that trans people existed was enough to tip me over and for a brief while consider myself as a trans boy. This was utter and complete bullshit. Now, I understand that there is no 'one' way to do femininity, and that just because something is feminine does not make it lesser. I can enjoy things typically seen as masculine (climbing trees, dating women, etc) and this does not detract from my woman-hood at all.
It is almost as if, as society increasingly considers people moving from one 'box' of gender to another, the boxes themselves become smaller. When I was growing up it was common to be considered a tomboy type, but now people would be called trans and medicalised. I believe transgender people do exist, but with today's increasing pressure on women and impossible standards many girls believe the only way to escape these is to opt out of womanhood entirely, which is incredibly sad. I'm jealous of gay men
I'm jealous of gay men who never get harassed for not liking the opposite gender. I'm jealous that they have their own spaces and are for the most part respected. I'm jealous that they navigate the world with their male privilege and aren't constantly harassed. I'm jealous that they have their own spaces and sense of belonging. I'm jealous that they have bigger dating pool. I'm jealous that they can find someone to hook up with instantly without all the vetting and selecting we have to do. I'm jealous and tired. 6/22/2022 I would have never imagined that years later, there wouldn't be woman-only spaces for me to meet other womenRead Now I deeply crave the woman-centered spaces that I used to have access to before lesbianism was apparently deemed out of vogue. I replay scenes of these woman-centered spaces in my head: the parties, the potlucks, the clubs, all of it. I would have never imagined that years later, there wouldn't be woman-only spaces for me to meet other women for dating or for friendship. I would have never imagined that I would be sifting through dating apps filled with men claiming that they are women. I wouldn't have ever guessed that straight people would have the gall to make fun of women who identify as lesbian instead of queer. Straight people! Worst of all, I would have NEVER expected that people would think it was acceptable to redefine the word lesbian to suit their needs. A lesbian is an adult human female who loves and is attracted to other adult human females. There is literally no contesting that! But now, I am expected to adhere to the notion that people born men are lesbians and that people who don't identify as women or men are lesbians. It makes me incredulous. It makes me feel lonely. The sheer misogyny in this new way of thinking is infuriating. The amount of unchecked ego in this thought process is shocking. I just want to go on a damn date with another lesbian woman. To throw a dinner party with other lesbian women. Accessing these core needs around romance and community feels like an insurmountable challenge. I am so bored of being asked to validate insecure trans women. Any online space for women will be full of “Is it okay for me to be here if I’m trans?” or “Would you date me even though I’m trans?” attention seeking posts, when they know that we have no choice but to smile and say yes, or face a ban. They are so insecure and childish. These are grown adults, reposting the same posts multiple times a day, so that they can try and push lesbians into validating them and it’s so stupid.
6/16/2022 I can’t accept that it is my job to use forgo my boundaries and my own sexual orientation to help them through their strugglesRead Now I spent decades being afraid to call myself a lesbian, and just as I finally found the courage, I find myself in a world where I am shamed for it. I feel sympathy for people who struggle with their gender identity. My struggle was not the same, but there are similarities between struggling with your sexuality, so I have sympathy, but I can’t accept that it is my job to use forgo my boundaries and my own sexual orientation to help them through their struggles. I need the lost lesbian spaces. I came out and was wandering in a forest, unsure of what to do or who to turn to for advice but there was nothing. We are not allowed anything. I have so many questions that will remain unanswered because the answers are deemed offensive now. I feel so alone.
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